Services Provided

A Couples Success Story

After a rough few years through the many challenges of pandemic living, Jack and Diane found themselves at odds with each other and questioning whether or not their relationship could last.

Though both had successful careers, the transition to work from home for Diane and initial furloughed to hybrid work for Jack caused unexpected stress and tension. They were living together in closer quarters for longer hours than ever before, and having to constantly adapt to the changes of the times with negotiation and shared preferences.

They found themselves having the same arguments over and over, rarely finding common ground or agreeing on the heart of the issue. This led to Jack becoming resigned, quick to defend and excuse his behavior but checking out with less engagement in their shared life. Diane found herself more heated with him than ever, criticizing and scolding Jack as if he were a disobedient child. Both were fed up with their stuck patterns and confused where to go from there.

One day while Diane was complaining to a friend about Jack’s increasingly intolerable behavior, this friend suggested couple’s counseling to help them learn the relational skills neither had experienced in dysfunctional homes growing up. Diane broached the idea with Jack who was willing to try as a last resort before giving up on the relationship altogether.

They searched on Psychology Today, reading bio after bio with little agreed interest in who may be a good fit. When they stumbled upon this website for Judi, they both felt comforted by the down-to-earth approach with skills-focused talk of learning more effective ways to relate with the mentality of being on the same team, not enemies at war as they had been feeling.

The initial intake flew by faster than they could believe, and both enjoyed the extra time to individually share their opinions about the current state of things. Within 3 subsequent couple’s sessions, both started understanding the new ways they could address their issues with soft start-ups, empathy first then boundary setting, leading with kindness and remaining curious, prioritizing Self-focus and internal emotional regulation. By 10 sessions total, both Jack and Diane reported feeling significantly more connected, describing more emotional and physical intimacy than the past 2 years combined.

After a few more months of once a month maintenance sessions, Jack and Diane decided they had overcome the stalemate that brought them into therapy in the first place and felt equipped to navigate the next steps in their life from a collaborative place with each other. No longer needing the couple’s sessions, they ended treatment with the confidence in their newly learned skills and comfortable with Judi’s ‘open-door’ policy of coming back for tune-up sessions or more intensive work at any point they feel the need or desire in the future.

Working with Judi in couple’s counseling proved invaluable to both Jack and Diane, understanding their family of origin issues and relational defaults for argument better than they would have understood from a book or workshop. Normalizing that all couples fight, it’s about focusing on how to ‘fight better’ turning towards each other helped both Jack and Diane feel less resentful and more supportive of working through their issues as loving partners with shared goals in life.